June is Men’s Health Month, and there’s one part of men’s health that still doesn’t get enough attention: what’s going on above the shoulders.
Men die by suicide at nearly four times the rate of women, yet they’re far less likely to have talked to a mental health professional in the past year. That gap isn’t because men struggle less. It’s because they’re less likely to say so, and less likely to be asked.
Why men don’t reach out
Most men weren’t raised to talk about how they’re doing. They were raised to handle it. So when something feels off, the default is to push through, stay busy, and assume it’ll pass. Add in worries about looking weak at work or at home, and it’s easy to see why so many men wait years before they say anything to anyone.
Here’s the problem with waiting: depression and anxiety usually don’t pass on their own. They settle in, and they get harder to untangle the longer they stay.
Depression doesn’t always look like sadness
This is the part that catches families off guard. In men, depression often shows up as:
- A shorter fuse. Irritability and anger over things that never used to matter.
- Working longer hours, or suddenly caring less about work altogether.
- Drinking more than usual, or leaning harder on other habits to take the edge off.
- Physical complaints that don’t have a clear cause: headaches, back pain, stomach trouble, poor sleep.
- Pulling away from friends, family, and the things he used to enjoy.
If a few of those sound familiar, whether it’s you or someone you love, it’s worth paying attention. Often the people around a man notice the change before he does.
What getting help actually looks like
A lot of men picture therapy as lying on a couch talking about childhood for years. That’s not how it works. A first appointment is a conversation. You talk about what’s been going on, and a provider helps you figure out what’s behind it and what to do about it.
Sometimes that means talk therapy. Sometimes medication makes sense. Often it’s a combination, built around your life and your comfort level. And with telehealth, that first conversation can happen from your truck on a lunch break. Nobody in the waiting room, nobody’s business but yours.
At North Jersey Health and Wellness, our behavioral health team sees men at every stage: some in crisis, most just tired of feeling like they’re running on empty. If you need to be seen quickly, our Prompt Psych service offers rapid psychiatric evaluations without the weeks-long wait.
One more thing worth knowing: treating the mind often helps the body follow. Sleep improves. Blood pressure comes down easier. The gym stops feeling impossible. Mental health care isn’t separate from the rest of your health. It’s the foundation under it.
If someone you love is struggling
You don’t need the perfect words. Something as simple as "You haven’t seemed like yourself lately, and I’m worried about you" goes further than you’d think. Don’t push for a big conversation. Just leave the door open, and offer to help him take the first step.
That might mean sitting with him while he makes the call, or driving him to the first appointment. Small efforts are often the difference between "I’ll deal with it eventually" and actually dealing with it.
This month, do one thing
Men’s Health Month is a good excuse to knock out the appointments you’ve been putting off. Physical, bloodwork, the thing your knee’s been doing. Put a mental health check-in on that list too. It’s one conversation, and it might be the most useful appointment of the bunch.
Ready to talk? Call us at (201) 588-3491 or book an appointment online. We see patients in Paramus, Ramsey, Florham Park, and Red Bank, plus telehealth and house calls.
If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text 988. The Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is free and available around the clock.