Conquering Self-Doubt: Effective Strategies to Try
Everyone experiences feelings of self-doubt from time to time. Am I good enough? What will people think of me? Is this the right thing to do? These questions can often be paralyzing and make it difficult to make decisions when you are not sure of yourself.
If you’re struggling with self-doubt, here are 8 tips to help you regain control of your mind and get back to chasing — and achieving — your goals.
1. Get to know yourself better
One of the best ways to overcome feelings of self-doubt is to get to know yourself better. Dive into understanding where you excel, where you struggle, and what your passions are.
In learning about yourself, you’ll be able to focus on your strengths and work on any areas of weakness. You will begin to discover why certain events may trigger specific emotional reactions. More than that, you will discover things that make you happy, excited, and motivated. When you can identify these aspects of your life on a deeper level, your self-confidence will start to improve.
2. Talk to someone you trust about your feelings of self-doubt
If you’re feeling down, there is no shame in admitting you need support. Sharing your struggles with someone who is in your corner can help you confront those inner doubts and better understand why you may be experiencing them.
The people you turn to should also be those who always have your best interest at heart. You should feel comfortable and safe opening up to them, rather than being judged. But this doesn’t mean they should sugarcoat things for you either. In looking out for you, they should give their honest, genuine input. Self-doubt can often cause us to fall out of touch with reality, so you want their words to keep your reality in check.
Therapists, with their unbiased perspectives, can also be great resources to have. Our team at North Jersey Health & Wellness is specialized in treating cognitive conditions, including intrusive thoughts, anxiety, and low self-esteem.
3. Write down your accomplishments, both big and small
Think about the last time you did something that made you feel really good about yourself. Maybe you wrapped up a long-term project at work or you broke your personal record during a 5K race. No matter what it is, it’s important to look back on these moments with pride. By acknowledging what you had to overcome to succeed, you will boost your confidence levels, mitigate feelings of self-doubt, and prove to yourself that you are capable of great things.
4. Practice positive self-talk
While many of us tend to be our own worst critics, we also have the power to flip the narrative and become our biggest cheerleaders. There are plenty of ways to incorporate positive self-talk into your daily routine, whether it’s leaving a sticky note with a positive message on your mirror in the morning or reciting the words, “You’ve worked so hard for this,” before a big presentation or promotion. You can even look back on moments when a friend needed help and thanked you for being an amazing part of their support system.
Reminding yourself that you are worthy, loved, and deserving of all good things will re-establish your sense of meaning and help quell any feelings of self-doubt.
5. Meditate to quell racing thoughts
Feelings of self-doubt can be overwhelming and cause us to feel trapped in a negative cycle. Meditation is a great way to break such patterns, as it teaches your mind to focus on the present and dispel intrusive thoughts. If you’re new to meditation, here are a few tips to get started:
- Find a quiet place where you can relax without distractions.
- Sit in a comfortable position with your spine straight.
- Close your eyes and take a few deeps breaths to center yourself
- Start by focusing on your breath, counting each inhale and exhale slowly. Feel your stomach rise and fall. Allow your body to relax into the rhythm of your breath.
As your mind quiets during meditation, you may notice the sounds around you — distant sirens, a dog barking, and even the sound of your own heartbeat. The more you focus on your breathing, the more your mind will become void of other thoughts, including feelings of self-doubt.
6. Take inventory of your inner circle
Who are they? What do they believe in? How do they make you feel? If the people in your life support and encourage you, it’s a good sign that you’re in the presence of good company. But if your inner circle is full of negative people who bring you down, it might be time to evaluate those relationships. This tip doesn’t mean you should drop your friend group and start from scratch. Instead, it’s consciously thinking about who lifts you up versus who makes you question your value — and then putting some distance between yourself and those who hurt your self-esteem.
7. Don’t compare yourself to others
Everyone is different and that means we all experience life differently. Let’s say one of your friends is newly engaged, one received a big job promotion, and another is moving to their dream city. If nothing big seems to be “happening” in your life, these achievements happening to those around you can breed stress, anxiety, and feelings of self-doubt.
The most important thing you can do in this situation is to reframe your perspective. Rather than saying, “I’m failing and so far behind,” or “I’ll never achieve what they are,” recognize that your path is just on a different trajectory at this moment.
There is no imaginary finish line you’re racing to and there is no telling what incredible things are coming your way tomorrow, next week, or in the upcoming years. The only thing you can guarantee is that great moments will happen to you too, and the best way to attract them into your life is by looking at your friends’ successes for inspiration.
8.) Do things that make you feel good
For this one, we say: go all in. Want to take an hour-long walk in the park? Grab your kicks and get out there! Thinking of splurging on your favorite latte this Friday? You deserve to celebrate the end of a long work week!
The point is to make time for yourself and the things that bring you joy. It doesn’t have to be a big event like traveling the world or eating a seven-course meal at a five-star restaurant. What it should be is an unquantifiable act done with great intention.
Focus on why you’re choosing a specific activity and the emotions it stirs up. Does it make you feel whole, full, valued, respected, or joyful? If yes, then that is exactly the kind of thing you should be welcoming in.
By doing things that make you happy, you’ll start to see yourself in a more positive light, which can help you better manage any feelings of self-doubt.
Self-doubt is a powerful thought that can keep us from achieving our goals. However, by understanding where the doubt comes from, we can develop strategies to deal with it. If you are struggling with feelings of self-doubt, call our office today at (201)-588-3491 or (973)-556-7702 to schedule an appointment with one of our therapists.