We’ve all encountered emotional pressure that can tempt us to act on impulse and make on-the-spot decisions. While this gut response can be helpful in dangerous situations, it can also lead to irrational decisions that have negative consequences down the road.
To approach situations in a way that will prove beneficial in the long-term, this blog highlights what the Golden Question is and how to use it in your everyday decision-making.
What is the Golden Question?
An Inc.com article, titled “How Emotionally Intelligent People Use the ‘Golden Question’,” explains why we respond the way we do in emotional scenarios. It also outlines the Golden Question as a structured approach to such situations — specifically, how asking yourself five simple questions can alter your instinctive decision to respond based on emotion.
All five questions begin with “how will I feel about this in…” and end with:
1.) one day?
2.) one week?
3.) one month?
4.) one year?
5.) five years?
The article also discusses how these questions shift our thinking from the present moment to the future, making us inclined to respond in a more thoughtful, rational way.
How using this method can improve decision-making
When it comes to decision-making, we engage different areas of the brain based on the nature of the scenario we are in. Typically, we reply on the frontal lobe and the amygdala for our responses, which both can produce drastically different results.
The frontal lobe is the largest region of the brain that controls our ability to plan, organize, rationalize, and reason. In contrast, the almond-shaped amygdala is the area that engages our “fight or flight” response to external stimuli, which often causes emotionally driven decisions to be made.
By employing the Golden Question in emotionally stressful situations, we force our brain to shift the decision-making responsibilities from the amygdala (emotional response) to the frontal lobe (logical response).
An example of the Golden Question in action
Let’s say you received a diagnosis from your doctor that your sodium levels are elevated, putting you at a risk of high cholesterol, which can lead to heart disease or a stroke. The doctor recommends adapting a healthier diet with less sodium intake.
After hearing this, you take their advice seriously and vow to follow a well-balanced meal plan moving forward. But as soon as you return to work the next day, you are slammed with assignments, meetings, and pressure from clients. All the stress starts to build, and you decide you are too overwhelmed to cook a full meal that evening. On the drive home you decide to stop at a fast-food restaurant and order a meal that is heavy with sodium.
While consuming a high-sodium meal once is unlikely to have an immediate effect, it is the ripple effect of future decisions and how it plays into the bigger picture that matters. For example, this kind of emotional response can create an instinctual response every other time you have a tough day in the office. Overtime, those habits add up and can result in negative consequences.
Let’s look at this scenario when implementing the Golden Question:
1.) How will I feel about this in one day? Maybe a little sluggish? But overall, no major life changes have occurred.
2.) How will I feel about this in one week? The work is building up again and I am craving the emotional relief from the fast-food meal.
3.) How will I feel about this in one month? I have gotten into the habit of eating fast-food meals twice a week and anytime I am feeling too overwhelmed to cook.
4.) How will I feel about this in one year? I return to the doctor to find out I have high cholesterol and my diet is starting to significantly impact my health. I have also spent a great deal of money on takeout, rather than saving money by meal prepping.
5.) How will I feel about this in five years? I have developed symptoms of heart disease and am at considerable risk of having a stroke.
The Golden Question as a key to future happiness
The Golden Question does more than ask, “is this decision the right one for me?” It ultimately frames the question around specific time intervals, forcing you to look at the bigger picture. Ultimately, this strategy can be key in minimizing future anxiety and boosting overall happiness.
Next time you find yourself in an emotionally stressful situation, ask yourself each of the questions above in order to mold positive, confident decisions.