If you have ever felt that your shortcomings make you a failure, you are not alone. In today’s society, we are constantly bombarded with messages that tell us we need to be perfect in order to be successful. The reality is that this mindset is far from true.
In fact, it’s been shown that those who show themselves compassion and are able to frame their mistakes in a positive light are more motivated to work harder toward their career goals. Beyond this, self-compassion reframes our mistakes or a missed opportunity at work in a positive light, turning it from a setback to a step in the right direction. By eliminating self-criticism, we are more likely to succeed in the future because we are less anxious about failure and more focused on bettering ourselves moving forward.
Perhaps the best explanation of the power of self-compassion comes from Dr. Kristin Neff, an associate professor at the University of Texas at Austin and author of Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness To Speak Up, Claim Their Power and Thrive.
In her book, Neff divides self-compassion into two equally essential categories: fierce self-compassion and tender self-compassion. Neff defines fierce self-compassion as the notion that being brave and asking for what we need is one of the best ways to show up for ourselves. On the other hand, tender self-compassion is the more widely known of the two. Where tender differs from fierce is in the importance it places on accepting ourselves — flaws and all — and showing ourselves love, whether it is when we make a mistake, move through a challenging time, or experience something that didn’t turn out the way we had hoped.
Neff also points out that being kind towards ourselves does not mean complacency or giving up on our goals. Instead, it means accepting where we are right now before moving forward.
The bottom line: by showing up for ourselves, as we would a friend or family member, we give ourselves the kind of support that is understanding, nurturing, and able to pivot us in the right direction.
So, the next time you botch a presentation, disagree with your boss, or hardly finish any tasks, try to go easy on yourself. Rather than dwelling on your mistakes, try embracing them and focusing on your strengths or how you can do better the next time around. The way we talk to and treat ourselves has a huge impact on our happiness, productivity, and overall well-being. Therefore, by harnessing this key mindset, you can rebound from workplace setbacks and achieve greater success in your career.